|
ThE TyPiCaL AzN GurL
The TyPiCaL AzN GanGsTa.!
1. Usually seen at the mall and at the poolhall, usually
giving dirty looks at other asian girls. Inside a crowded Civic with other gangster
girls and anywhere the gangster asians are.
2. Usually wearing tight baby tees, tank tops, baggy jeans, or black
pants.
3. Loves to wear brown lipstick and 3-inch heels. 4.When wearing baggy blue jeans, she will wear
a Adiddas warm-up jacket.
5. Another Pochacco, Keroppi, Sanrio nut.
6. Of course, she has dyed-blond hair and REALLY
black roots!
7. Believes she's a Sailor-Scout of Sailor Moon.
8. A tenth degree black-belt in the art of backstab.
9.
Talks big, but no action.
10. Is extremely good at talking behind backs, only will talk shit about you when you're beyond
a 20-mile radius.
11. Has a protruding mouth, like a monkey.
12. Whenever she wants to look attractive and goes over
the edge by wearing skirts up to her stomach.
13. Girls hang with her because she will fight for them. Guys hang with her
because they want to get her in bed and she'll fight for them.
ThE TyPiCaL OvErDrEsSeD AzN GurL.!
1. Usually seen at the mall, at the poolhall, at the casino
(not gambling but sitting next to boyfriend, staring at his money and his chips), at the youth group meetings (usually the
leader), at the Karaoke bar and inside boyfriend's expensive car.
2. Usually wears tight skirts, flares(the ones in which
they cannot see their feet), high heels or 4-inch platforms (which they have no idea how to walk on, they always look off-balance
while walking).
3. She must wear her skanky outfits everywhere they go.
4. You can hear the clogging' of her platform
heels from a mile away.
5. Always showing off her cell phone ... always pretending she's talking to her rich boyfriend!
6.
Of course, she has dyed-blond hair.
7. Another Pochaco, Keroppi, Sanrio freak.
8. Another tenth-degree black belt in
the art of backstab.
9. Plucks her eyebrows, and her eyebrows are just one line!
10. She is the ultimate snob ... mastered
the art of walking with her nose up.
11. Believes she is "all that..." and enjoys ignoring other guys.
12. Never smiles,
because she has ugly ass teeth. What a grill!!
13. Has a new pair of shoes every week.
14. Girls hang with her because
she makes them look good and they like to borrow clothes from her. Guys hang with because they want to get her in bed and
use her as their car accessory.
ThE TyPiCaL AzN sChOoL GurL.!
1. Usually seen in the study hall or under house-arrest
by her parents.
2. Usually wears thick eyeglasses, jeans that don't fit quite right, old faded shirts, and pennyloafers,or
sandals.
3. Are completely male-phobic.
4. Sometimes shy, but really anti-social.
5. Another Sanrio, Keroppi, Pochaco
nut ... but she talks to her dolls because she has no social life.
6. When approached by a male, she always says, "I con't
tok to you rite naow!"
7. Has no social skills whatsoever.
8. Is the master cheat sheet on all tests.
9. Talks too
loud in her native language.
10. Girls hang with her so they can cheat off her for tests and she has a nice car. Guys hang
with because they also like to cheat off her on tests and they think they can get a date with her.
The TyPiCaL AzN PLaYeTeE.! tHe PiMpTrEsS!!
1. Usually seen in any the middle of any crowd of guys or
with her homegirls scopin a crowd of guys at the mall or poolhall.
2. Usually wears white tanktop with a plaid overshirt
with flares and black pants on occasion. She has to look cute.
3. Loves the thrill of having more than one boyfriend at
a time so she can play "The Game"
4. Has guys paging her every minute ending with 143-637-823-247, cell phone rings off
the hook, and her voicemail box is full of guys messages asking where she's been all day.
5. Even though she has all those
guys...friends still come first.
6. Won't ever backstab her friend. Her clique is so close they practically family.
7.
Always has plans. Her planner is so packed she doesn't have the time to dial in the numbers on her cell...that's what speed
dials for!
8. Doesn't know the meaning of "heartbreak".
9. Talks in a high pitch voice when on the phone with a guy...but
doesn't realize it.
10. Girls hang around her cuz she's their sis. Guys hang around her cuz she's fine
Good Gurlz Vs.
Bad Gurlz
Which one are u?
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot.
Bad girls make it hot
by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it.
Bad girls only
own one bra and rarely use it.
Good girls wax their floors.
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls blush during love scenes in a movie.
Bad girls know they
could do it better.
Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls.
Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls.
Good girls wear high heels to work.
Bad
girls wear high heels to bed.
Good girls say, "Don't... Stop..."
Bad girls say, "Don't Stop..."
WhY
sOmE AzN gUrLz HaTe
AzN gUyZ
All you wannabes always talk about cars and how you want to fix it up and race and shit, but you don't even
got a car! you just be driving your mama's Honda accord with your GOT RICE sticker on the bumper
You always wear the same shit on different days and spray the fake CK1 or the Uni shit.
You always have
the same fades up the backside of your heads.
What's up with the
bleached bangs?
You always brag about your 2-inch killas! shoo, you're Asian damn it, admit it!
You think that dropped Civics are cool but are played out.
You
always brag about breaking and how you can freak and shit but you can't move at all. so watch Soul Train and PRACTICE!
When
you go to a party, you go in all the fixed up cars and leave your broke ass Datsun two blocks away.
You all go to
the mall and "kick it" looking for all the 12 yr. old girls with their puffy marshmallow jackets or Nautica shirts with big
boobs and their wonder bras.
You think that your import car
is hella tight, but your mama paid for it, so get you broke ass to work.
On the phone, you guys try to sound all deep
and always start a conversation with "Wassup..." but in person, you squeak like a damn mouse.
All you guys freaking
share the same girl and you may think that you are all player, but realize that maybe you are the one being played. so there!
On your beepers you have a funky little song but it's only background noise so stop and leave a damn message.
And
when you receive a page you always say it's your bitch, but it's really your mama telling you to get your broke ass home cuz
she needs her car to go to the market.
You always wear those skimpy "wife-beaters", thinking you got a body to sport,
but you got to get your ass to the gym and really look good.
All you freaking
ugly guys get girls by having the nicest cars, but reality check! it's your car we want and not you.
All you deejays
that let us in and say that you are using us for sex all the times, we faked the orgasms and hey, we got in the club didn't
we. and hey, we didn't leave with you, we left with the bouncers, cuter than your asses.
You guys that sag your pants, are just trying hide your flat ass, and you always probably buy 2 sizes bigger
shoes making your feet look bigger, but it's not. Chill with your size 7 shoes already.
And in the chat rooms, you
assholes ask "where are all the fine girls at" and also ask "anyone got a gif to trade" but you don't got one yourself.
You
think that bumping music in your car is dope, so that all the cars around you vibrate. But you are only hurting yours, ours,
and your mamas ears. watch out, you are gonna get a fixing ticket.
On
your Honda's and Acura's, your headlights are different and damn that's annoying, but watch out you are gonna get a fixing
ticket again. And your mama's gonna take the car away.
Hey and you guys that wear FUBU, army looking pants, beenies
with sunglasses, and warm-ups with slippers and dirty socks, that's out and for one thing, UGLY. Do you guys share clothes?
You think that taking a shower is rinsing your hair in
the sink. yuck!
You guys drool over car magazines and wish you had the cars that them fob girls owned.
When
it's 100 degrees outside, you guys wear those puffy jackets or all match with your Nautica jackets.
And you tell your guy friends that you went to a club and got a grip of numbers, actually it's another guys
number who just wants to know where you got your car fixed up at.
You guys that sport that "baller look" only have
it to say you ball and you always keep those damn clean, but HELLO! if you balled, you would think...
And you guys that got an automatic car, you pretend it's a stick, revving it like a stick and making it sound
like a stick by downshifting to 2nd gear.
You guys use your damn fake id's to get cigarettes, but you get caught.
Older guys go to them all ages clubs and hook up with
a 13 yr. old and then you tell your homeboys that they are 18.
You wannabe gangsters have your guns, but are damn cowards anyway. And when something does go
down, you say you are gonna go to the car to get your gat, but you come back when everything is over.
This is to all you wannabe sweet talking guys please chew some gum before you say anything to us because that
breath be kicking worse than BRUCE LEE.
tUrN dOwNs
Him: Where have you been all
my life?
Her: Hiding from you.
Him: Haven't I seen you some
place before?
Her: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Him: Is this seat empty?
Her:
Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Him: So, what do you do for
a living?
Her: I'm a female impersonator.
Him: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Her: Do not enter.
Him: Your b0dy is like a temple.
Her: Sorry, there are no services today.
Him: If I could see you naked,
I'd die happy.
Her: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Him: Where have you been all my life?
Her: Where
I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.
*~*tHiNgS gUyS tHiNk GiRLs sHouLd KnOw*~*
1.. We're not as big of perverts as you think we all are.
2.. No matter what you say, your ex-boyfriend is an asshole.
3.. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.
4.. Don't argue with
us when we call you beautiful.
5.. Don't treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.
6.. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out
with you.
7.. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.
8.. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's
that time of the month and nothing more.
9.. If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that
our mustache, beard, or sideburns looked cool.
10.. We never shave our legs. Get over it.
11.. NEVER ask us if you can put make up on us. It's just wrong.
12.. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell
us, if you don't.
13.. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.
14.. We absolutely do not care about, The Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, 98
degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter.
15.. We may not be able to pee acurately all of the time, but
at least we can stand up and go pee.
16.. Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't
mean that you dont't have to apologize when you do something "wrong".
17.. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it
would be nice if you did the same every once in a while. We like to know that you love us.
18.. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans
sometimes.
19.. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might
just get what you wish for.
20..
Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we would
say".
21.. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh
when we believe you.
22.. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours
better anyway.
23.. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a relationship
24.. PMS is not an excuse.
25.. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you
should put it up when you're done.
26.. Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn
us on.
27.. And always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his
stomach.....and maybe....oh nevermind.
28.. And last but not least: We know you're not always right,
but we'll pretend like you are anyway.
|
